Archive for the ‘music’ Category

way down in the hole: the wire themes

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

Each season of The Wire features a different version of ‘Way Down in the Hole’, written by Tom Waits for his 1987 album Franks Wild Years [sic]. Here they are:

Season One: The Five Blind Boys of Alabama



Season Two: Tom Waits
Waits also sang the extended version playing over the final episode’s closing montage



Season Three: The Neville Brothers
This clattering take is my favourite



Season Four: DoMaJe
Arranged and recorded specifically for the show, and performed by five Baltimore teenagers: Ivan Ashford, Markel Steele, Cameron Brown, Tariq Al-Sabir, and Avery Bargasse

Season Five: Steve Earle Earle, himself a former addict, also appears in the show as Walon, a recovering addict



Closing Theme: The Fall - Blake Leyh

rescuing jaiku: reading 2007

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009

reading three times

With the news that Google is cutting Jaiku loose, I thought it was time to rescue my review of Reading 2007 (the reason I signed up in the first place, because Twitter wouldn’t work with my phone) before it disappeared into the ether, typos and all…

Thursday, 23 August 2007

Starting as I mean to in on: failed to get a haircut, go to the post office, or eat. But i do have wellies. Wellies! In August!

The last pair in Forest Hill Garden centre, no less.

Waiting by the gate for tickets. Enterprising souls have just sold me 2 tall Buds for 1 pound

We’re about to get on a boat and cross the River… Reading? There better be beer on the other side.

Tent is up! Beers on board!

Beers onboard! Have stolen some guy’s Becks while on a boat. Still wearing wellies.

All of a sudden it’s nighttime. We have wristbands, so let’s go to the leisure centre for a indiedisco!

The noise! Reading is loud. I am old and I may in to bed

Friday, 24 August 2007

Gah. I had forgotten about the wondrous experience that is waking up in a tent with 8 beers clamouring to get out.

Arena isn’t open yet. No-one’s going anywhere.

Big in Reading: Writing swearwords on your tent. Writing swearwords on your arm. Swearing.

Fuck yeah.

It’s only the first morning and I feel like my whole body is covered in a fine layer of grit. Especially my eyeballs.

It’s easy to be cynical about the Pipettes, but there picture-postcard pop has am irresistably breezy charm. I’m in love with all three of them.

I don’t have Little Man Tate as much as I want to. Sure they have the posing Northern swagger and a tendency to insert swearing into their song titles, but those songs are actually quite hummable.

That’s meant to be “I don’t hate…” of course.

The Riverboat Gamblers are every bit as sleasy, bluesy and raucous as the name suggests, but Jasper H. Crisp, what’s with the sightlines in the LockUp tent?!

The Sounds are a scandodisco party in your pants and everyone’s invited! It’s like the ’80s, only sexy.

I tried the King Blues because I heard their uke. Then they revealed themselves to be a reggae band, of all tings. I’m off.

The Long Blondes have choruses that grab you by the immaculate ponytail. So why are the rest of the bits so anonymous?

I’m supposed to be getting batteries, but i’m enjoying the blue collar riffing of the Street Dogs too much.

For the girls: oversized shades and undersized shorts. For the boys: shit slogan t-shirts

It’s about four seconds before Beth Ditto’s dress is up sound her waist. All hail the Gossip!

That’s meant to be “around her waist”, obv.

Stumbled into Alberta Cross, all surging redneck rock. For the first time, I forget where I am. Which is awesome.

Maximo Park leap, twitch and jerk into our hands with their fistful of great tunes. I’m singing along - Well, I say ’singing’…

I think ATP may have spoiled me. I’m not enjoying the crush. At least in the Radio 1 tent you can see

Youth Movie Something kind of rock. Aha! I must be drunk, I see multiple people…

Youth Movie Soundtrack, of course.

EnterShikari bring the motherfucking house down. A to the power of Awesome!

Razorlight? Are you fucking kidding? Back to my tent!

Saturday, 25 August 2007

I seem to be spending half my life in queues: for water, for beer, to get in the arena, to get out of the arena, to go the toilet. At least I’m not in the giant queue to, get this, charge your phone. Dumbasses!

I later joined that very queue, inevitably. Or rather I loitered about pretending to look for someone until I could push in.

Does It Offend You, Yeah? are teh awesome. They’re a vocoder stomping rave riot in a speak’n’spell factory. Awe, seriously, sum

Those typos are deliberate. That’s how the kids talk.

Mute Math make a howling racket, a wig-out that involves the drummer taking his skins and climbing the keyboards. A show!

Bought an awesome jacket for the cashback and I’ve just discovered it’s reversable! Cashback!

God knows where that jacket is now. Probably on a nightbus.

Nine Black Alp actually look about nine years of age. But they make a great squalling racket

Nine Black Alps, of course.

Metronomy: Fisher Price Kraftwerk. Look Ma, I’m dancing!

metronomy

Metronomy: Kraftwerk doing big beat sea shanties

Panic! At The Disco have just bored the shit out of everyone.

Silversun Pickups are a cheerful bunch making a noise like the world is ending, with a bang and a shower of sparkles.

Battles is the sound of a supercomputer being dropped down the stairs and mysteriously being endowed with the funk.

!!! have everyone moving like a dance-off in a special needs home.

Sunday, 26 August 2007

Sat by the river in the blazing sun, drinking chilled beer. If only life was always like this

Me and Craig left the site, desperate for ice. We got drunk by the river by about 11 before heading back.

I really wish Clare was here

Well, I did.

Billy Talent! Er, that’s it

I was wankered by this point, and it was only about 2. After this I fell over and didn’t bother getting up for several hours, and only then because I really wanted to see the Cold War Kids even though all available evidence suggested I was about to die.

I’ve come home drunk and the Cold War Kids have pushed me down the stairs. Spiteful.

I like Fall Out Boy and everything, but is there any need for three covers in one mid-afternoon set?

A Vimto ice lolly has literally just saved my life

Thought I was going to die for a minute there. Even Jamie T couldn’t help.

My hair is so greasy I actually thought I was wearing a hat. lolz!

silversun pickups

I also saw Charlotte Hatherley, the Noisettes, the Subways and loads of others but evidently couldn’t be bothered to Jaiku about them. Photos are here.

things i always find myself involuntarily whistling and i don’t know why

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

    Caught in Session - Snuff
    Ring of Fire - Johnny Cash
    Mars: Bringer of War - Gustav Holst
    Saturn V - Inspiral Carpets
    The Rockford Files - Mike Post

playlist for a long ride home

Saturday, January 17th, 2009

So I’m facing an hour on the tube and I don’t particularly want to listen to my thoughts, because what do they know? It’s the sort of mood that needs music, but the wrong music would be even worse, and I really don’t want to spend the journey fighting with the skip button. Maybe I should just pick something. Off the top of my head I think Ladytron? In masochistic rebellion my finger plays Russian roulette and hits shuffle.

There are 14 Ladytron songs on my iPhone, out of 2096 songs. That’s a 1 in 150 chance of Ladytron being the first song to play.

Runaway fills my ears. I nearly cry.

    Runaway - Ladytron
    So Lonely - The Police
    Jump They Say - David Bowie
    Been Training Dogs - The Cooper Temple Clause
    There Only Is - Vendetta Red
    Pressure On You - Duels
    Lend Me Your Face - Fight Like Apes
    Hi Fi Killers - Laptop
    Hang Me Up To Dry - Cold War Kids
    Worst Thing that Can Happen - A
    Yeah You - Embrace
    Mungo City - Spacehog
    Freefall - Audioweb
    Miserable - Lit
    Everybody’s Got To Learn Sometime - Glasvegas

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tweetthousand&eight: rich_trenholm’s year on twitter

Saturday, January 3rd, 2009

2008. Completed my first year at CNET UK, moved from Forest Hill to Clapham Common, did more travelling than in my entire life before, broke up with my girlfriend, and said things like this

CES Las Vegas

Facebook says Rich has just been choppered out to the Grand Canyon.

Rich had breakfast at Denny’s, Las Vegas Boulevard, and dinner at the chippie on Devonshire Road.


ATP! After a bloody tortuous journey, I’m in Butlins, I’ve got a beer in my hand, couldn’t be happier

They let us in&out with glasses, & our chalet is twenty yards away-are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Facebook says Rich is having an absolute fucking blast at ATfuckingP.

Saul Williams is a BizarroWorld Bowie, a glam-hop fly dog backed by psychotronic ‘frobots

it’s 50/50 between having a great day and just curling up into a ball and whimpering somewhere

Battles are kind of like Adam Ant being raped by Marilyn Manson - only 15x more fun

Southland Tales is Terry Gilliam and Warren Ellis’ Marx Bros porno in the City of Lost Children May be a jodorowskyesque gothoperapocalypse, but it does have a certain demented symmetry
Facebook says Rich has just got two free Crunchies from the vending machine for the price of one! Jackanackanory!
Rich salutes the Feast, king of choc-ices.

Facebook says Rich has run out of things to do on his day off. Another wank?

Rich is just nipping out to China. Back later.

Rich is towering 42 stories over Tokyo. Like Godzilla in brothel creepers.

There are upsides to being ill: any day without trousers can’t be all bad
Force Quit means Force Quit, like right now. Why does End Task mean keep acting the twat for another ten minutes?

Apparently, being Icelandic in May was pretty brilliant: http://bit.ly/1j0vae

Well I never: The Japanese invaded Alaska in 1942: http://bit.ly/I07cR

Wolverine healing factor? Mario mushrooms? Bollocks. Nothing beats the healing power of a Frank’s lasagna and chips carbopocalypse You know you’re reaching a certain age when the conversation can segue entirely seamlessly from hard drugs to soft furnishings

Apparently in the US they say “Liquor and beer/have no fear”. I’m getting this tattooed on my nutsack

Today I have used the phrases “sex-grenade” and “stabbing himself with his own todger” on the site. Truly, I am a serious writer Twitter does not have to be reciprocal. You do not have to follow me if you think I am a tedious arse - and vice versa. That is all.
Story idea: WAX is a washed-up cop- WAYNE is a going-nowhere stoner. Apart, they’re trouble. Together, they are: WAX & WAYNE! Da-der-derr!! If it gets any colder in the office, we’ll have to eat the huskies.

“Granddad, what were you doing when Obama was elected?” “Yeaaahhh… I was watching Crank”

defenestration (dē-ˌfe-nə-ˈstrā-shən) n. throwing of a person or thing out of a window

@CupCate S’OK, I’ll slip you the answers: 1.Cricket 2.Bangers’n'mash 3.Jeremy Kyle 4.Old Compton St 5.Paying over the odds for everything

Carter USM: hooks to take your eye out. Housebricks in the pick’n'nix

Next LifeOnMars spin-off: some cunt off Hollyoaks goes to 1992. EMF beat him to death with a cricket bat and a 303. SOLD

And yes, I appreciate the irony of Twitter scraping my blog slating @ replies while in the middle of an @ conversation
Have decided I want a tattoo of the swearing from Asterix: skull and crossbones+dagger+lightning bolt
Last night: bounce-punk of A, pedal-to-the-floor gonzo-rock of the Wildhearts. Tonight: Jarvis Cocker & Mary Margaret O’Hara… carolling?
Notice secret service didn’t break speed records leaping in front of Bush. Honestly, who throws a shoe?
Love stickers in gym: “Limited to 20 mins @ peak times”. If I’m on an exercise machine longer than 20 minutes it’s because I’ve died on it
Tempted to spend 3 days living off champagne & sleeping on escalators in Westfield neonoptican as practise for CES

Nailed by Internet commenter: I am not only a “sanctimonious nutter”, but also a “deranged far-left lunatic”. Hurray! http://bit.ly/jDu3


Christmas: potatoes turkey chocolate DoctorWho pintsintheBassett naps nephew&CallofDuty Travelodge niece&sparklypresents potatoes Porridge

Rich is giving up drinking for 1 year after CES. For reals this time.

http://twitter.com/rich_trenholm

i was considering calling this post ‘do you remember the first time?’ but that would be so unutterably wank i’d have to kill myself, which is why i went for this unutterably smug load of old toss instead. dodged that bullet!

Sunday, December 28th, 2008

I actually don’t remember that much about my first gig. It was the Longpigs at the Royal Court Theatre, in Liverpool. Travis and Embrace supported, neither of whom we’d heard of at the time. I thought it was a school night, because I remember explaining to my Mum that gigs finished at 11, but according to the Internet it was the 8th February 1997, and that was a Saturday, although I’m not convinced by this review because I was yelling for Jesus Christ all night and I’m sure they played it near the end. If they did play it first I must have looked like a colossal wanker. Embrace were in the NME On section, like, that week. That was when they were the next Oasis. Everybody loved Embrace — the Fireworks EP was later NME’s single of the week, long before they became a ladrock laughingstock — but I preferred Travis’ rockier stylings, and also partly wanted just to disagree with people. There’s that contrary streak. God knows what went wrong with Travis — well, actually they found a formula and stuck with it. The first album still stands up: U16 Girls, All I Want To Do is Rock, and the superbly-appropriately-titled Tied To The 90s.

It’s a bitter irony that Travis came up with the money-spinning indie ballad formula and then had to pack it in, only for Coldplay and Keane and that ilk to steal their thunder. To be fair, Coldplay give better indie ballad than the turgid shite Travis used to peddle. And then there’s all those perfectly decent indie bands who are great when they’re going fast but only have hits with ballads and so keep churning them out, like Snow Patrol.

Um, what was I talking about?

do you like waffles? parry gripp does

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

WillsWideWeb tweeted this (via this guy)…

…which led to here. And that is the story of how I spent another day not listening to the radio and another day further out of touch with ‘the kids’.

Parry Grip is the chap from Nerf Herder (yeah, them off Buffy) and he has also put together a succession of insanely catchy spoof jingles and YouTube tunes. Here’s some more:

My favourite’s include We’re Gonna Beat Your Sports Team, Squirrels, Squirrels, Squirrels, and Theme From Robot Hamster.

I love how Theme From Bunny Rabbit could soundtrack a Michael Mann shoot-out — if wasn’t called Theme From Bunny Rabbit. Right, I’m off to get This Is My Ringtone on my iPhone.

awaydays’ development hell: guy ritchie, rewrites and near-death by strimmer

Tuesday, November 4th, 2008

Reading Kevin Sampson’s account of Awaydays’ decade in development hell goes to show what an achievement it was to get the film made at all.

On a personal level, I didn’t know the book was published the day before my 18th birthday. I do remember seeing it when it came out because I worked in a bookshop. I was drawn in by the great cover — Trainspotting-style design combined with cool trainers. When I read the back I went cold — it was about a young Tranmere fan on the Wirral! I was a young Tranmere fan on the Wirral! It was about a young Tranmere fan on the Wirral going to loads of cool gigs! I was a young Tranmere fan on the Wirral going to loads of cool gigs!

Now I learn the film will premiere on my actual birthday, March 5th 2009. I have to be there.

the display team at the fox: best flyer ever

Friday, October 24th, 2008

Best flyer ever:

Always up for a bit of ska-punk tomfoolery, even if it does mean going to Lewisham. And so:

The Display Team
Mayors of Miyazaki
Spandex Ballet
The Fox and Firkin, 316 Lewisham High St, London, SE13 6JZ [gmap]
Thursday 27th November 9pm

florence and the mules

Friday, October 10th, 2008

Florence and the Machine / The Mules
Koko 07.10.08

The Mules‘ angular gypsy-skiffle echoes across the cobblestones of fog-shrouded Old London Town, a deathly pale Ron Mael in undertaker’s garb creeping up behind you with a pale finger outstretched and quivering. Doomy piano stomp and spiraling violin, a troubadour of a drummer — if that’s even possible — and even a swerve into skewed boogie-woogie at one heady juncture: The Mules put the fun into funereal.


Florence and the Machine
make a Russian doll of a racket. Florence Welch arrives like a glitter-flecked white witch, her enchanted voice filling the room like smoke curling in the morning sun, then clouding that very sun and punching you in the face. Every song unveils a new layer of bluesy, twinkly noise, Florence singing like Kate Bush on an assertiveness course and dancing like a dryad on her third snakebite and black. She may close with a song called Dog Days Are Over, but none of the spellbound crowd believe it for a second.

if you’re looking for me, you’d better check under the sea… ‘cos that is where you’ll find me

Friday, October 10th, 2008

The theme to Sealab 2021, by Calamine. Because I can:

Just try to not play that again. I dare you.

i wanna do great things (don’t wanna compromise)

Monday, October 6th, 2008

First five pages of volume two of the magnificent Phonogram, The Singles Club at the Phonogram blog.

The first volume of Phonogram is one of the few things I had wondered if the creators had yanked all the stuff I wanted to write out of my brain and y’know, made it as good as it sounded in my head. The first thing I saw when I opened the trade paperback at random was a reference to Kenickie, and I just had to have it.

It’s about… well, when I finished it I opened Indiedisco, the story i’ve been writing, about a guy in the present day who looks back at his group of friends in the britpop era, full of smart cultural references to obscure yet glorious indie bands, and wrote this:

INT. THE RED DRAGON - DAY. NOW: JOHNNY, in white v-neck t-shirt and dark jeans, is sat by a small table on the bench around the edge of the pub, reading Phonogram. Mia, in black cap-sleeve t-shirt and black jeans, is slouched next to him reading a tattoo magazine with her plain black trainers on the seat. Her sunglasses, an untouched pint and a half-drunk vodka and tonic sit on the table.

JOHNNY:
FUCK.

Mia looks over.

MIA:
BIT RUBBISH, IS IT?

JOHNNY:
NO, IT’S GREAT. WELL, IT’S ALRIGHT. YOU KNOW THAT STORY I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING, ABOUT A GUY IN THE PRESENT DAY WHO LOOKS BACK AT HIS GROUP OF FRIENDS IN THE BRITPOP ERA, FULL OF SMART CULTURAL REFERENCES TO OBSCURE YET GLORIOUS INDIE BANDS?

MIA:
YEAH.

Johnny holds up the comic.

JOHNNY:
WELL, THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A GUY IN THE PRESENT DAY WHO LOOKS BACK AT HIS GROUP OF FRIENDS IN THE BRITPOP ERA, FULL OF SMART CULTURAL REFERENCES TO OBSCURE YET GLORIOUS INDIE BANDS.

WITH MAGIC AND GODDESSES.

Mia makes a face, which Johnny reciprocates while still looking at the comic.

MIA:
FUCK.

JOHNNY:
YEAH.

MIA:
I HATE MAGIC AND GODDESSES AND SHIT LIKE THAT.

Of course, they’re totally different beasts. Phonogram is way sexier than me, for a start. And reading it did push me to push the pop cultural references in Indiedisco a bit more. It also made me let go of Britpop. Not bad for a funny book.

And while we’re on the subject…

things bought in the charity shop this week

Monday, October 6th, 2008

The Beginnning Stages of… The Polyphonic Spree
Move Along All American Rejects
How To Operate With A Blown Mind Lo-Fidelity Allstars
Traffic And Weather Fountains of Wayne
Fresh Select compilation
Made In Britain Mojo compilation
The Winter Queen Boris Akunin
Luna Park Brett Easton Ellis
Barbarians At The Gate Bryan Burrough and John Helyar
JPod Douglas Coupland
Generation X Douglas Coupland

repo! a genetic opera

Monday, September 29th, 2008

Somewhere between Doomsday and Sweeney Todd, Once More With Feeling and Moulin Rouge, skulks and spits…

the pitch that taste forgot

Sunday, September 28th, 2008

Bit short of anything to write about, and I’ve just found my abortive attempt to think of something when my friend tried to convince me to pitch to Front (“BRITAIN’S FUNNIEST MAGAZINE”), so, for your amusement:

Dumbledore’s Beard - Other famous fictional characters who were blatantly gayers

I’m inordinately proud of that headline — the Dumbledore pun, not the use of the word ‘gayer’, please bear in mind I was trying to fit in with the style of the magazine

Mr Benn may have spent the daily nine-to-five as a straight-laced businessmen, but after-hours he dolled himself up and went on all sorts of exotic adventures.

…er, that’s it. Suggestions in the comments…

Mancrush: We know it’s wrong…

…but we still would. From Steve McQueen to Johnny Depp and Dave Grohl, we can’t help but see the ladies’ point.

On reflection the list would also include Simon Pegg, Pete Cashmore, Jason Perry and, I don’t know, Jack Bauer or someone.

twitter vs atp

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

So I didn’t blog ATP in a big, old media review like I did like last year. Partly because that involved scribbling notes at each show, in the dark, which was no fun for me, or the expert in ancient runes I had to hire to decipher them later. It also meant spending a hungover morning typing as fast as I could in the Butlins Internet Cafe, which should really be called the Butlins Swanky Gourmet Cuisine Maison Chez Internet, the prices they charged for the portions you get. Par for the course though, innit. This year, wireless was available in the chalet, but I wasn’t keen on paying silly money or trekking down to McDonalds for free WiFi, and besides I’d got Twitter working off my phone.

Yes, the very thing that eluded me before Reading last year was now working. Back then I went for Jaiku, which was great, except they’ve just removed everybody’s old posts to save space on the server. They will be restored, apparently, but in the meantime I am none the wiser as to what I was doing over last year’s August Bank Holiday.

Although it turns out I’ve been Twittering anyway, having synced up my Facebook status and forgotten about it. Which is also fine, but I’ve just added Twitter to my Facebook profile, which means whenever I update my status I have to Twitter as well so both boxes don’t say the same thing. Shouldn’t be an issue; of all my problems, not having anything to say for myself is usually way down the list.

So from hereonin, you’ll be treated to the sight of a drunken Rich, one eye squeezed shut, swaying with the effort of poking at my iPhone. And you’ll have the same amount of insight into what I was actual thinking as I do.

 

that’s it. i no longer have need of new music

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

…now I have whomix.trilete.net, an entire website devoted to fan remixes of the Doctor Who theme tune!

Currently listening to nowt else, and probably never will. My attempts to find concentratin’ music — which saw a brief flirtation with, gah, classical — seem to be at end. Instead I will listen to endless trance mixes of Ron Grainer’s timeless theme. By far the best is the Zan Lyons-style grindo-industrial stylings of Mutagene with Jesus Built My TARDIS, followed closely by the sandpaper-trousered four-(to-doomsday)to-the-floor of Psypherium’s Fast Digital Electric mix, and the Depeche Mode-shagging Slow’n'Sleazy seduction by Anthony Perry.

Each of which can only be topped by the magnificence of Stephen Willis’ A Capella Who. Seriously, I don’t need anything else.

power down II

Sunday, June 10th, 2007

Islington Arts Factory

No power. No refrigeration. No lights. Candlelight and drums flickering… piano in the dark.

Chris Lyons inhabits a spellbinding space somewhere between Regina Spector and the Exorcist, the church in which we stand dislocated in the ether to stand jagged and proud on a glittering moon. Hairs on the back of the neck coruscate as we spin in the night.

Ahuman bring out the shamanistic qualities of When Doves Cry. We strain for every word. They inhabit the space and time so completely it’s near impossible to imagine them in any other context. Post Postmodern Anxiety Blues is a bit Alabama 3. Bowling Shoes is a bit like Just The One by the Levellers on the while legging it down the Golden Mile.

Portico Quartet sound a bit like they’re soundtracking your day if you’re Michelle Pfeiffer in The Witches Of Eastwick. Or something. The intensity is gone, and so am I, staggering into the sleeting rain.

c30 c60 c90 gone

Friday, May 11th, 2007

I am sick of hearing about the death of the audio cassette. Silly season is obviously on the way because the London and national radio stations are jumping all over the news that Currys is to stop selling blank tapes and stereos with tape decks.

First off: so what? Woolies stopped ages ago but their PR officer obviously didn’t have the nous to tell the press - or maybe they did, but there was some of that, wotchercallit, oh yeah, actual news to report that day.

Secondly, there has not been a blanket ban on the use of tape cassettes punishable by death. Just one shop has stopped selling them. It does not mean that you will have to take all your tapes to the car boot sale. Anyone listening to tapes will have their lives impacted by this in, hmmm, preciselyno way at all.

And third: Currys? Hmmm, not sure… I know, I’ll go over the high street to Dixons and see if I can get better value there. Consumer choice in action. Except oh no, sorry, ‘fraid not, they’ve been the same fucking company since 1984 (oh the irony) hence the Dixons rebrand to currys.digital one year ago.

So actually, when I think about it, that is the essence of postmodern consumer choice: it’s all a fucking illusion.

last acts / all tomorrow’s parties day three

Thursday, May 3rd, 2007

The first ATP at Minehead, the Nightmare Before Christmas, lived up to its name with tales of huge queues haunting the holiday camp survivors. But the only queue I encountered this weekend was for the water slide, and so we begin Sunday with a long wait into a short blast down a plastic tube and a headfirst crash into a shock of blue. Oh shit, how do I swim again? Bracing… One circuit of the whirlpool and the last vestiges of last night are washed away.

A highlight: we encounter Josh Pearson, now recast as a spindle-shanked shaman of the wave machine, exhorting the bobbing faithful from two floors up. ATP!

Papa M holds a sizeable crowd spellbound with his tender balladeering in the Centre Stage. A gentle start to the day. Back to the penny arcade pavilion for the rough edged majesty of the Dirty Three, curators of the weekend. Warren Ellis is a wild-bearded prophet forging lightning from his violin while Jim White flails thunder from the drums, the gathering storm to end one hundred years without rain.

The storm breaks with Silver Mount Zion Orchestra. They’re billed for a whopping two-hour set, which just might be long enough to get through, ooh, about one and a half Godspeed You! Black Emperor songs, for three of those infernal scions are ascending this silver peak. Apocalyptic drama in this prosaic atrium of white polythene and winking neon, a call to prayer in the dying days, yea! Fiddling while the very heavens burn…

And they’re gone, well shy of the two-hour mark, yet the enormity of an eternity warps around me… although the effect is somewhat diffused by the bilious carpet beneath my brothel creepers and the vvvVVVVRRRRMMMmmmmm of the racing arcade game at my back.

Might as well go see Mary Margaret O’Hara then. A wilful, playful, twitchy puppet with her strings tangled and tied, she reduces lyrics and singing to wails and squawks and throaty glissando, even abandoning words completely on one song, the sounds pulled from inside her to her apparent delight and paranoia. A five minute warning spooks her so much she abandons Year In Song half-way through, and mutters and giggles the intro to a shambolic and smokily delicate version of Somewhere Over The Rainbow that collapses in on itself in a whisper, and then she skitters off stage. Christ. That’s ATP, man.

Tactical thinking (and laziness): eschewing Cat Power gets me in for the start of one of the most anticipated shows in the ballroomesque Centre Stage. Say howdy to RamblinBill Callaghan’s gravel-on-a-tomb-lid-throated country’n'wistful, the highlight being a lollop thorugh A Man Needs a Woman or a Man to be a Man. An abrupt departure leaves the crowd wrongfooted, but it’s back to the sticky floor and Carlsberg while we wait for the second show by the golden-haired pixie with the silvery voice, and a weird way of singing out of the side of her face…

The adorable Joanna Newsom conjures wisps of silk and sawdust with her coruscating harp and swirling vocals. We’re entranced by her lilting tales of life and death and whisky and lace. We’re waltzing in a half-finished chapel beside a clear mountain stream, beguiled and bewitched. Well, I am.

After that, Mum Smokes sound y’know, alright, but this may just be the negative reinforcement in my brain of the worst, worst band name ever. It’s the red stage, it’s Sunday night, I don’t want to go home so I don’t. We gather for the last ‘act’ and the last act, the final curtain: Secretary.

Moist Paula Henderson is, by day, a secretary, and by night she is blows her horn… like some kind of crazy indie superheroine. She opens with musical typing, bashing out 100 words a minute of crashing beats. Yeahhhh, actually typing, on a MacBook, actually dressed as a secretary, and, like, when she types beats come out. And that telltale !ding! when she hits the end of the line. We hit the end of the line with this Secretary when she abandons the cute typing thing and pulls out - jaysus anything but that - a saxomaphone.

Chalet. Fast. Beers on board.

My last act unexpectedly screams in about now, a second, third and seventh wind arriving - ATP! - in one giddy rush of denial that this can’t be it! Not everyone has the spirit (the flesh is weak) so only a hardy pair abandon the chalet, and resisting the Tren Brothers‘ attempts to lull the world to sleep, we thrash out indiedisco nirvana in the Crazy Horse saloon for one last time. Thank you Minehead, and goodnight.

ATP!
ATP!
ATP!

Again! Again!