fire and forget

2008. Completed my first year at CNET UK, moved from Forest Hill to Clapham Common, did more travelling than in my entire life before, broke up with my girlfriend, and said things like this…

CES Las Vegas

Facebook says Rich has just been choppered out to the Grand Canyon.10:16 PM Jan 6th, 2008

Rich had breakfast at Denny’s, Las Vegas Boulevard, and dinner at the chippie on Devonshire Road. 7:17 PM Jan 9th, 2008

All Tomorrow’s Parties

ATP! After a bloody tortuous journey, I’m in Butlins, I’ve got a beer in my hand, couldn’t be happier 6:29 PM May 16th, 2008

They let us in&out with glasses, & our chalet is twenty yards away-are you thinking what I’m thinking?7:56 PM May 16th, 2008

Facebook says Rich is having an absolute fucking blast at ATfuckingP. 5:49 PM May 17th, 2008

Saul Williams is a BizarroWorld Bowie, a glam-hop fly dog backed by psychotronic ‘frobots 4:31 PM May 17th, 2008

it’s 50/50 between having a great day and just curling up into a ball and whimpering somewhere 2:44 PM May 18th, 2008

Battles are kind of like Adam Ant being raped by Marilyn Manson - only 15x more fun 2:21 AM May 18th, 2008

Southland Tales is Terry Gilliam and Warren Ellis’ Marx Bros porno in the City of Lost Children 10:11 PM May 21st, 2008… May be a jodorowskyesque gothoperapocalypse, but it does have a certain demented symmetry 11:13 PM May 21st, 2008

Facebook says Rich has just got two free Crunchies from the vending machine for the price of one! Jackanackanory! 5:25 PM May 23rd, 2008 from twitterfeed

Rich salutes the Feast, king of choc-ices. 9:42 PM Jun 21st, 2008

Facebook says Rich has run out of things to do on his day off. Another wank? 5:19 PM Jul 24th, 2008

Epson trip to Hong Kong, China and Japan

Rich is just nipping out to China. Back later. 12:44 AM Aug 20th, 2008

Rich is towering 42 stories over Tokyo. Like Godzilla in brothel creepers. 11:45 AM Aug 22nd, 2008

There are upsides to being ill: any day without trousers can’t be all bad 5:27 PM Oct 9th, 2008

Force Quit means Force Quit, like right now. Why does End Task mean keep acting the twat for another ten minutes? 3:56 PM Oct 14th, 2008

Apparently, being Icelandic in May was pretty brilliant: http://bit.ly/1j0vae 1:08 PM Oct 15th, 2008

Well I never: The Japanese invaded Alaska in 1942: http://bit.ly/I07cR 1:31 PM Oct 17th, 2008

Wolverine healing factor? Mario mushrooms? Bollocks. Nothing beats the healing power of a Frank’s lasagna and chips carbopocalypse 5:45 PM Oct 17th, 2008

You know you’re reaching a certain age when the conversation can segue entirely seamlessly from hard drugs to soft furnishings 6:40 PM Oct 20th, 2008

Apparently in the US they say “Liquor and beer/have no fear”. I’m getting this tattooed on my nutsack 1:12 PM Oct 23rd, 2008

Today I have used the phrases “sex-grenade” and “stabbing himself with his own todger” on the site. Truly, I am a serious writer 5:16 PM Oct 23rd, 2008

Twitter does not have to be reciprocal. You do not have to follow me if you think I am a tedious arse - and vice versa. That is all. 6:25 PM Oct 24th, 2008

Story idea: WAX is a washed-up cop- WAYNE is a going-nowhere stoner. Apart, they’re trouble. Together, they are: WAX & WAYNE! Da-der-derr!! 11:25 PM Oct 26th, 2008

If it gets any colder in the office, we’ll have to eat the huskies. 2:25 PM Nov 3rd, 2008

“Granddad, what were you doing when Obama was elected?” “Yeaaahhh… I was watching Crank” 10:26 AM Nov 5th, 2008

defenestration (dē-ˌfe-nə-ˈstrā-shən) n. throwing of a person or thing out of a window 3:39 PM Nov 7th, 2008

defrienestration (dē-ˌfre-nə-ˈstrā-shən) n. removing a friend from your profile on a social network3:41 PM Nov 7th, 2008

@CupCate S’OK, I’ll slip you the answers: 1.Cricket 2.Bangers’n'mash 3.Jeremy Kyle 4.Old Compton St 5.Paying over the odds for everything 11:17 AM Nov 19th, 2008 from web in reply to CupCate: Have just found out I have to pay £700 to extend my Visa, as well as taking a test on life in the UK. Thanks Home Office!!!!!!

Carter USM

Carter USM: hooks to take your eye out. Housebricks in the pick’n'nix 9:48 PM Nov 22nd, 2008

Next LifeOnMars spin-off: some cunt off Hollyoaks goes to 1992. EMF beat him to death with a cricket bat and a 303. SOLD 8:31 PM Nov 22nd, 2008

And yes, I appreciate the irony of Twitter scraping my blog slating @ replies while in the middle of an @ conversation 12:00 PM Nov 26th, 2008

Have decided I want a tattoo of the swearing from Asterix: skull and crossbones+dagger+lightning bolt9:04 PM Nov 28th, 2008

Last night: bounce-punk of A, pedal-to-the-floor gonzo-rock of the Wildhearts. Tonight: Jarvis Cocker & Mary Margaret O’Hara… carolling? 6:02 PM Dec 11th, 2008

Notice secret service didn’t break speed records leaping in front of Bush. Honestly, who throws a shoe? 10:44 PM Dec 14th, 2008

Love stickers in gym: “Limited to 20 mins @ peak times”. If I’m on an exercise machine longer than 20 minutes it’s because I’ve died on it 1:13 PM Dec 17th, 2008

Tempted to spend 3 days living off champagne & sleeping on escalators in Westfield neonoptican as practise for CES 6:22 PM Dec 17th, 2008

Nailed by Internet commenter: I am not only a “sanctimonious nutter”, but also a “deranged far-left lunatic”. Hurray! http://bit.ly/jDu3 3:05 PM Dec 18th, 2008

Rich is giving up drinking for 1 year after CES. For reals this time. 3:57 PM Dec 30th, 2008

http://twitter.com/rich_trenholm

The Casio Exilim Pro Ex-FH20 is a superzoom that shoots a gobsmacking 40 frames per second. Yes, it takes 40 full-sized photographs in one second. It also shoots video at 1000 frames per second, and I was keen to show off this cool slo-mo feature in our video review. I went in search of party poppers — y’know, those little tiny things that limply pop a bit of paper — but was seduced in the shop by something a little bigger: a foot-long confetti cannon.

And so this turned into the most fun video review I’ve done, and it’s one of the videos that we at CNET are most pleased with. Bruno Dinis and Chris Beaumont did an awesome job shooting and editing it, and thinking on their feet in the studio to make this such a great video.

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. In which case I guess I should be extremely flattered by TechRadar’s 7 ways to make your PC look like a Mac article, posted yesterday by Adam Oxford. The suggestions:

1. Move your taskbar to the top of your screen
2. Install a dock like ObjectDock
3. Get Expose with Switcher 2.0.0
4. Throw in Widgets such as Yahoo! Widgets
5. Completely reskin Windows using StarDock’s WindowBlinds or OSX clone FlyAKite
6. Get some Spaces with DeskSpace
7. That’s the look - add themes

1 and seven are new to me, I must give them a try. Thanks, TechRadar! But hmm, something about the rest seems familiar… can’t put my finger on it… Oh yeah, I remember: this time last year I wrote an article for CNET UK called Mock OS X: Five ways to make your PC more like a Mac. My suggestions:

1. Install a dock like ObjectDock
2. Get Exposé with MyExposé
3. Throw in Widgets such as Yahoo! Widgets (then called Konfabulator)
4. Get some Spaces with DeskSpace
5. Completely reskin Windows using StarDock’s WindowBlinds or OSX clone FlyAKite

My article had a better title, spelt Exposé right and drew a metaphor with the oyster scene from Spartacus. See? Completely different.

Been asked to write my profile on the corporate website. Here’s the first draft:

Brief job description
Reviewing and reporting on the latest digital cameras and camcorders, presenting consumers with advice and news that is both informed and accessible

Areas of expertise
Reporting on the latest news with the speed and context that only online can provide, supported by in-depth, authoritative product reviewing, and assured video presenting. Also jokes about ninjas.

One person I’d love to interview is…
Joe Strummer

In 10 words
A little bit country, a little bit rock’n’roll. Sausage dog.

Most interesting place visited on business
Either the geek paradise that is the Akihabara district of Tokyo, or the foothills of the Atlas Mountains on a warm Moroccan night.

In 2009…
You’ll believe a man can fly

More detailed bio that will go into a PDF for people to download
Rich Trenholm is the Digital Camera and Camcorder Reviewer for CNET UK. He divides his time between authoritative, accessible product reviews and tenuous jokes about ‘80s cartoons in the daily Crave gadget blog.

Rich began his journalistic career at university, writing about music and film before becoming Students’ Union Communications Officer. He has also worked at scientific journals covering genetics and microbiology, despite barely being able to tie his own shoes.

A former indie-kid turned-skatepunk, Rich is pleased he is finally old enough to carry off and afford a decent rockabilly haircut.

Taking it seriously enough..?

In which I give the world a new word: 2.0mance.

Love in 140 characters: It’s 2.0mance

My 2.0mance is going pretty well. A lazy Sunday afternoon conversation about bands with terrible names prompted a blog post from her. When she mentioned the use of song lyrics in an article on Facebook status no-nos, what else could I do but quote the Smiths on my profile? I said “Fail” out loud once too often and next thing she’s written up the memes the Web should grow out of.

I’m still figuring out where the line is, though.

The button here doubles as a tiny little mirror, for when you’re feeling a bit emo.

This week’s First Look video from CNET UK is the Kodak Zi6 budget mini-camcorder, with added HD.

Shot by Ash Denton and edited by Bruno Dinis.

I wrote this a while back and it never really took off traffic-wise, but it still makes me laugh. Does not compute: The 10 most annoying kid + robot team-ups grew out of a lunchtime conversation with Nick about how lame Scott Trakker and T-Bob were. It was primarily fuelled by my longstanding hatred of Telemachus, and features a bunch of irritating little terrors and their sidekick metallic morons.

So are all crime-fighting/spacefaring kids annoying? Only when they’re a genius and there’s a robot involved, clearly. Inspector Gadget is technically a cyborg, not a robot, which may explain why Penny is so great at solving crimes, all the while stirring new and unfamiliar longings in our pre-adolescent loins. But here’s the true, undisputed daddy of kids with robot sidekicks, the exception that proves the rule by stealing the rule’s money and having his pet cyborg killing machine shoot the rule in its rule knees.

Also I should point out, having now become a massive fan of Wil Wheaton, that Wesley Crusher and Data were annoying because of the sappy crap they had to spout, when they were both awesome in so many ways. That is all.

Terrible headline, but beautifully written:

Boxwish: Celluloid style

Another tiresome crystal-studded gadget, and not a great one at that:

Swarovski-studded Olympus mju 1040: Lipstick on a pig

Source: Crave UK

Source: Flip Video Mino video at CNET UK
Flip Video Mino review

Video presenting: I does it. Crave Live: Panasonic Lumix G1 video tour, from the launch of the Panasonic Lumix G1, the first compact camera with interchangeable lenses, at Wembley Stadium yesterday. Filmed and edited by CNET UK’s Drew Stearne:

This is my first ‘live’ piece-to-camera — weekly First Look videos use an autocue — so I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out (good work, Drew).

Visit CNET UK’s gadget blog Crave for my photos from the event and some hibernian hand modelling:

Photos: Panasonic Lumix DMC-G1 does lenses, but no video

Crave Podcast No. 100 is video as well. I’m in Part 1:

I was so jetlagged (and the rest) that I actually fell asleep on that sofa until the director woke me up so we could start.

I’m not in the second part until right at the end, but watch it anyway:

Good work Rory and the rest of the Crave team, plus Chris Beaumont, Ash Denton and Drew Stearne behind the camera.

Back from our tour of the Far East, courtesy of Epson. We started in Hong Kong, staying at the InterContinental Hotel, spent a day on the Chinese mainland in Shenzhen, then transferred to the Buena Vista in Matsumoto in Japan and ended up in the Park Hyatt in Tokyo.

It was a pretty long outing by press trip standards, a full week — and not just the five days, but seven including about three days travelling. Fortunately everyone on the trip was pretty cool, even those funny foreigners with their crazy accents and weird health systems. The travel was fine, even with all the time spent on coaches. Fortunately I slept through most of that. As for the flying, business class is the only way to travel. You can’t make me go back to cattle class; I won’t I tell you. Even if I have to wear a suit every time I fly.

The food was excellent, of course, although not as Far Eastern as we expected. We ate in an Italian restaurant in Hong Kong and a French restaurant in China and an English pub in Japan (although the latter was hungover laziness). Each of these was more like an attempt at Italian, French and British cuisine by someone who’d never been to Europe, but I’m not complaining: it was all good, and I could have eaten more authenetic food.

Unfortunately the two most indigenous meals coincided with my skipping out on the group to explore Tokyo, although the last meal, a Teppanyaki extravaganza, was bloody brilliant. The griddle was in the middle of the table, where our chef cooked up a storm. He opened by individually cooking each piece of onion. Meticulous.

Anyway, pictures on Flickr, more as I remember it.

UPDATE: Apparently, it was garlic.

Won’t be around much next week, as I am invading the Far East. Tomorrow I’m flying to Hong Kong to look at Epson projectors. On Wednesday we get bussed over to mainland China for a day trip, during which we have to try not to look like journalists, and then we hit Tokyo Godzilla-style. We’ll be in the hotel from Lost In Translation. Back Sunday for three days, then off to Germany for IFA.

It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it.

Update: Couldn’t get hold of Lost In Translation before I went — no time to torrent even if I did understand torrenting, and iTunes don’t have it. Then I get back and bosh: three quid in Asda which I’d only wandered into on a whim. Obviously life really does have a funny way of helping you out (which reminds me).